The music festival: an event where the most magic memories are created.  A time in space where the troubles of this world are forgotten and where festivities reign!  A time not to be forgotten or mis-experienced!

First, I present to you my festival credentials that certify me to present this guide.  Good credentials come from experience and in my case this includes no less than 18 music festivals of various kinds.  From single to multi-day festivals, EDM to alternative and city to veld to ocean!  This then, is my qualified Partier’s guide to the Music Festival.

Enjoying a music festival is about going into it with the right mindset.  You need to cut loose and let go of your burdens.  You need to be open to new experiences and acts and to sharing a space with weird and wonderful people.  Being a part of 20 000 people jumping with raised hands is a sight to marvel at.  It should create goose bumps over your entire your body and you should crave to be privy to creating something truly epic.  You cannot and should not hold back or even care how you look to others.  You need to be in every moment.  

Let us begin then:  The most critical rule to enjoying a music festival is actually getting through the whole festival.  This normally comes down to alcohol intake and energy levels, the former being the primary cause of failure.  The best piece of advice that I can give is to pace yourself.  Twenty beers in two hours may be a great pigs night achievement but it will certainly mean that your festival will also be limited to those same 2 hours.  One drink per hour is a reasonable guideline.  

Your choice of drink is also important.  The temptation is always to go crazy with different shooters and cocktails.  You are at a music festival after all!  But, you must be strong in the face of temptation.  Don’t mix your drinks!  Choose one drink and stick to it.  Beers are great but they make you bloated and jumping to a great DJ’s drop will be challenging.  I recommend a sugary vodka mixer.  It has a great kick, keeps your energy levels high and does not make you feel “heavy”.  Remember, alcohol is just an enabler to enjoy the festival and not the sole purpose of the festival.  My readers under 23 will not appreciate this fact until later on in their lives.  The other rules are pretty standard: drink lots of water and get a few good meals in.  A packet of chips is not a meal!

Now that we have ensured that you will not pass out from drunkenness mid way through the day we can focus on getting the most out of the festival.  I’m going to list a few of my top tips in the section below.  Most of these tips are written in blood from past festival fails.

• Plan your festival schedule.  There is nothing worse than missing your favorite act because you were waiting in a bar or food queue.
• Synchronize your bar and bathroom visits.  Duh!
• A bad act is a good time to have a meal.
• Carry enough sunscreen.
• If possible buy a VIP pass.  The smoother bathroom and bar service is well worth the extra cost.
• Make use of some sort of public transport.  

The best floor spot at a festival is not necessarily up front against the railing where you can smell the artist’s sweat.  And true, this is prime property if you want 10 seconds of fame in the after movie or if you really want to see what’s up the artists nose.  But, if these two strange requirements are not on your priority list then there are better options.  Options that don’t require you to camp there from the early morning or that don’t require you to wrestle your way to get to and from your spot!  Options where you can be free to jump and throw your arms around as you wish!  My top spot is in the center of the stage about a third of the length of the floor back.  Contrary to popular belief the best sound and view from a floor is not right against the stage.  That woiled be like watching a movie with your face pressed against the screen.  Rather, the design is such that the best experience, both in terms sound and effects, is from about the spot I mentioned above.  It is also less crowded making it easier to access and it gives you the necessary freedom to have fun.  As a last note on this point, shoving your way through the crowd to get to you spot is just not cool.  In fact, it is down right rude.  And then, if you do mistakenly bump into someone, the decent thing to do is apologize.  Trust me, I will not think you less of a man for doing so.  In fact, quite the opposite.  

I may have no right to make this comment, but tight jeans and high heels have no place at a festival.  While you’re styling heels are none of my concern in general, it does affect me if you’re sore feet become my problem.  Comfort is king!  This is not to say that being fashionable is unimportant.  Let’s be honest, every single person hopes to get “some” at the festival and looking like a vagrant will certainly not aid that goal.  My recommendation is stylish but comfortable, keeping the weather in mind.

A multi-day camping-type festival requires a bit more planning and to give an account of suggestions may be fruitless since each festival is different.  Your options depend both on what the organizers offer and what you bring to the table.  Research the festival carefully in your planning and understand what you want.  The ticket options vary based on their offering, so prioritize your needs and wants and select carefully.  I have great advice for specific festivals on tents sizes and types, camping spots, bathroom options and the like but these cannot be generalized.  The one piece of advice that I think can work anywhere is to buy the option with the best bathroom facilities.  If being a stinker does not really bother you then ignore that tip.  However, please keep other partiers in mind when passing your smell around.  Finally, it’s on all of us to keep the ablution facilities clean.  Treat the bathrooms the same way you would at your own home.  

I thought I would end this blog attempting a left-wing rundown of the different music festivals and their crowds:

• The Jazz festival:  This is a mere excuse for a festival.  At best it is a tame concert with a headline act and a whole lot of opening acts.

• The Hippie festival:  This is the most chilled out festival.  One where you can be free to look the way you want and be one with the earth.  However, even the most hardcore partiers will have a blast, because while hippies are chilled, they are also crazy.

• The Indie/Rock festival:  This festival often merges with the hippie variety; especially when the music is Indie.  The vibe is great and the people are awesome.  The headbangers and moshpits can prove to be rough though.

• The Hip Hop festival:  This is by far the most dangerous festival.  It is filled with wannabe gangsters who, especially after a few drinks, want to “pop a cap in your ass”.  The wrong choice of crowd position might prove to be life threatening.

• The EDM festival:  This is the ultimate music festival with the ultimate crowd, the hottest people, the grandest music and the most epic vibe.  Enough said!